Touché Douche

Because no one asked for it, I've compiled a partial list of the world's biggest douchebags. While it is nearly impossible to get one's name removed from this list, it is fairly easy to get added on (so don't cross me again, Hasselhoff). Names are listed in no particular order:

· Scott McClellan

· Anyone who drives a Hummer

· Barry Bonds

· Dick Cheney

· Film critics

· Antonin Scalia

· David Caruso

· Ms. Molly from " Romper Room" (no, I am still not over the trauma of learning that her magic mirror was not, in fact, magical)

· G. Gordon Liddy

· The Amazing Jonathan

· Rubberneckers

· People that say "gaper's block" instead of "rubbernecking"

· Bill O'Reilly

· Anyone who still uses a dial up connection

· Anyone who asks "is it hot/cold enough for you?"

· Carrot Top

· Karl Rove

· People who drive 45 mph on Lake Shore Drive

· Hyper-sensitive political correctness Nazis

· Nazi Nazis

· Tyra Banks

· Mike DeWine

· Anyone still using AOL for anything besides e-mail (and that's a stretch)

· Isaiah Thomas

· Donald Trump

· Anyone who buys Us Weekly, In Style or any other celebrity-obsessed rag

· The publishers of Us Weekly, In Style and every other celebrity-obsessed rag

· Radio DJ's who host call-in advice shows

· George W. Bush

· Anyone who says they are "fun loving" or "down to earth"

· Randy Johnson

· Randy Jackson

· Michael Jackson

· Michael Moore

· Roger Moore

· Roger Clemens

· Kody Clemens

· Anyone whose first name is Kody, Cody, Dakota, Montana or Hunter

· People who don't read PatRoW