Plants Eavesdrop for Defense Purposes – meanwhile, the government announces plans for $1.8 billion Dick Cheney Memorial Greenhouse, Nursery & Top Secret Espionage Center.
Take my wife, please.
Ryan had '12 Years of Christmas' Prosecutor Says – boy, that really beats the "Eight Crazy Nights" of Chanukah I've always enjoyed. George Ryan had it good; maybe it's time for me to convert...
Assistant US Attorney Joel R. Levin said the 72-year-old Republican who served [two terms as secretary of state and] one term as governor practiced "concealment, deception and lies" on a regular basis to cover up "dirty deals" in which he steered state contracts and leases to a small circle of friends and their lobbying contacts.
This guy is on trial? Damn, he sounds like a perfect candidate for House Majority Leader.
Study: Almost half of kids will be fat by 2010 – I know there's a "chubby chasers" joke in here somewhere, I just can't find it.
No one wants to see a world full of fatties less than me, but I think that certain experts may be exaggerating just a tad:
"We have truly a global epidemic which appears to be affecting most countries in the world," said Dr. Philip James, chairman of the International Obesity Task Force.
He said children are "being exposed to the world's marketing might," arguing that governments should step in. "There needs to be a ban on all forms of marketing, not just television adverts."
That's right, doctor. Marketing is the problem. Why blame the lard asses who can't stop stuffing their faces, when we can blame commercials? Hey fatso – why don't you put down the Twinkie and take some personal responsibility for once?
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