High Holy Day

Scotty's out. Hallelujah!

In honor of this momentous (and long overdue) day, let's remember all of the good things Scott McClellan did as White House press secretary.

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Got all that? Good, because we're moving on to Tony Snow, the Fox News pundit and Bush shill who is rumored to be on the short list to replace McClellan as Douchebag Administration mouthpiece. Salon helps better acquaint us with the man:

In an appearance on Fox earlier this year, Snow claimed that Valerie Plame wasn't a covert CIA officer at the time the Bush administration blew her cover, adding, "even her husband says she wasn't covert for six years." Plame's husband, former ambassador Joseph Wilson, has never said any such thing.

In a posting to his blog, Snow said that the White House ought to send flowers and chocolates to the New York Times reporters who broke the warrantless-spying story. Snow said the reporters had "saved the Bush presidency" by revealing that the president was doing such a good job of keeping tabs on al-Qaida, and he suggested that the story would work to Bush's political and polling advantage. Engaging in exactly the sort of false-choice argument he had made repeatedly, Snow wrote: "If we try to fight the war on terror with eyes shut and ears packed with wax, innocent people will die."

In a column on Iraq in December, Snow said it would be easy to call "Jack Murtha, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid or any of the other wheezy prophets of the Defeatocrat Party as oddities were it not for the fact that their position on Iraq is deeply consonant with what the Modern Democratic Party has believed for 50 years." He then said that Democrats were stupidly -- and dangerously -- rejecting the president's "infinitely variable approach to the ever-shifting situation in Iraq" with a "weird faith in plans."

In a column following the vice president's shooting of Texas attorney Harry Whittington, Snow said reporters who pressed for answers were "fools" who had forgotten "the importance of behaving like human beings, rather than velociraptors." He added: "Most of us have tasted the milk of human kindness, and thus incline to support victims of unforeseen hardships or tragedies, and Dick Cheney clearly fell into that category. He was a man in distress."

To recap: Snow's a liar, an idiot, has no concept of reality and thinks that Dick Cheney deserves to "taste the milk of human kindness" after his failed murder attempt of Harry Whittington. I also like it how he compares the media – the very people with whom he would have to develop a close working relationship as press secretary – to vicious, carnivorous dinosaurs.

Lovely. Is it possible that I'll be pining for Scotty in a few weeks?