Do any of the voices know how to pronounce ‘nuclear’?

When Google News runs a link titled "Bush Hears Voices", you can bet your ass I'm going to click. And while I'm somewhat disappointed that the "voices" are not a manifestation of his psychotic break, I do find it somewhat reassuring that Dubya recognizes that the American people think he's an idiot.

In this week's New York Observer , Joe Conason asks if the president merely hears, or if he is capable of listening to the growing number of dissenters:

"I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation," said the President of the United States, sounding as peevish as a toddler banging his silver spoon on the high chair. "But I'm the decider, and I decide what's best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the Secretary of Defense."

By reminding everybody that he is "the decider," George W. Bush no doubt hoped to stifle embarrassing protests from a growing corps of retired officers such as General Anthony Zinni, who believe that the war in Iraq has been ruinously botched and that the Secretary of Defense should retire. But his defensive outburst only drew attention to the most deserving target of criticism: himself.

What a douche. I can hear the SNL spoof now: "I'm the decider. I decide things. I make decisions because I have decision-making power. I am decisive – that means I stick to what I decide."

Conason also introduces his readers to the growing number of decorated soldiers and "Iraq veterans who are stepping forward to run for Congress as Democrats":

Among those candidates is Joe Sestak, a retired vice admiral seeking to unseat Curt Weldon, the entrenched (and truly egregious) Republican incumbent in Pennsylvania's Seventh District. During his 31-year career in the Navy, Mr. Sestak's assignments ranged from commanding a battle group in the Persian Gulf to serving on the National Security Council staff and overseeing the Quadrennial Defense Review. (He also happens to have earned a master's in public administration and a doctorate in government from Harvard.)

Contrary to rumors started by Paul Wolfowitz, Sestak is not, in fact, a large, bug-eyed creature from the Land of the Lost. That's a relief…although I'd still vote for him anyway.