Heckofa New Job

Now that PatRoW fever has spread to the Deep South, I feel compelled to address an issue in the hearts and minds of my friends in the hurricane-ravaged Gulf region.

(What is the statute of limitations for saying "hurricane-ravaged" anyway? Is it proportionate to the severity of the storm, or will we be referring to New Orleans as "hurricane ravaged" until our short attention spans are interrupted by the next horrific natural disaster?)

Anyway, it seems that Louisiana's St. Bernard Parish is considering hiring former FEMA chief Michael Brown to help it navigate the maze of federal funding bureaucracy. We all remember Brownie, right? At this point, no one should need to examine the résumé of a man who famously did a "heckofa job" in his last position.

Despite the partial restoration of his reputation thanks to some convincing video evidence , many people still hold Brown at fault for the government's poor preparation and slow response to Hurricane Katrina. And yet, his expertise and " understanding of the system's red tape would speed the flow of federal recovery money, said Parish President Henry 'Junior' Rodriguez."

Of course, some crybabies can never get over a little tragedy:

"Do we hire an individual to assist in our recovery efforts who as FEMA director resigned two weeks after Katrina made landfall?" asked Republican state senator Walter Boasso. "We were in the middle of the worst natural disaster in our nation's history."

If you ask me, hiring Brownie is the perfect choice for a region and citizenry on the mend. In fact, such a decision would be in line with several other previously unthinkable consulting deals that have been brokered in recent months…like:

· OJ Simpson for the National Organization of Women

· Bernie Goetz for the NAACP

· Scott McClellan for Pathological Liars Anonymous

· Alberto Gonzalez for the ACLU

· Bill O'Reilly for Sweet Jesus I Hate Bill O'Reilly

· Scott Peterson for Right to Life movement

· Barbara Streisand for Hamas

· Michael Moore for the NRA

Ah, irony – it cuts like a knife…right OJ?