Image is Everything (at least when compared to real issues)

Andre Agassi may have retired from professional tennis, but that doesn't mean Canon can't revive its popular 1990s advertising campaign with a new spokesman – George W. Bush.

Much like Agassi, in his early career, seemed more intent on looking like a star than playing like one, Dubya likes to talk tough on terror even though his actions are hilariously/frighteningly inept.

Los Angeles Times columnist, The New Republic senior editor and frequent (and unaware) PatRoW contributor Jonathan Chait reminds us of the day when the Interloper stood on a pile of smoldering WTC rubble and proclaimed "The people who knocked down these buildings will hear all of us soon." And while Osama is still running free, that doesn't stop el presidente from pretending to have fulfilled his vow:

…The Bush administration has decided to stake the 2006 elections on Bush's record of fighting terrorism. It sounds like a joke, but it isn't. He let our worst enemies escape; he is on the verge of creating a terrorist haven in Iraq where none existed before; and this is the issue he picks to highlight. Why not run on his record of evacuating New Orleans? Maybe Bill Clinton can run on his record of chastity!

Chait jokes, but the truth is scary. Republicans, following Dubya's lead, are notoriously adept at framing debates under the terms that are least likely to embarrass them. The GOP should be crushed in the upcoming election because they have proven to be incapable representatives and lying sacks of cunt, yet are likely to maintain slight majorities in both houses of Congress because they have positioned themselves as strong where they are really most vulnerable.

(If George W. Bush were an epic hero in Homeric literature, he would brag about his strong and invincible heel. Also, he'd be really old.)

The "walk softly and carry a big stick" days of government are over. Bush, Cheney, Rove & Co. have firmly ushered in an era of "talk loudly and pay no attention to that man behind the curtain." Lovely. Teddy Roosevelt meet L. Frank Baum; you two will be rolling over together for the next few years.