Friday

Quick Hits: Lord I was born a rambling man

After yesterday's grotesque 915-word masturbatory effort, I realize the need to cut back on my verbiage. Folks, days like today were made for Quick Hits.


Cop snares college pals in own Web – The news isn't that the cops used facebook.com to find a public urinator and his justice-obstructing friend, it's that the Chicago Tribune would print somebody saying, "I got bone crushed." I sure do love hard-hitting journalism.


Deuce Bigalow vs. Mel Gibson – In a move guaranteed to shatter the plans of Hollywood's top producers, Rob Schneider took out a full-page ad in Thursday's Variety to pledge he would never work with the "only anti-Semitic when I'm drunk" two-time Oscar winning Mel Gibson:


"Even if Mr. Gibson offered me the lead role in Passion of the Christ 2, I, like Bernie Brillstein, would have to say 'NO!'," the Schneider letter declares.


Brillstein is the longtime Hollywood manager who told the Los Angeles Times that, if asked, he would not represent Gibson. "I don't like bigots," Brillstein said.


Crap. Now who will play the bad guy in 2007's Deuce Bigalow: Space Gigolo?


Breast-feeding reduces anxiety into childhood – I couldn't care less about childhood anxiety, but did Yahoo really have to look to France to get a photo of a woman breast feeding? What – no American babies were hungry yesterday?

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