Millions of divorces are fine, but two guys kissing will destroy American families!

I briefly touched on this issue the other day, but I think I'm ready to go a bit more into the issue now that the State of Washington Supreme Court yesterday upheld a law banning same-sex marriages. For those of you keeping score at home, this means that…

Massachusetts remains the only state that sanctions same-sex marriages. New York's highest court, by a vote of 4 to 2 earlier this month, upheld state laws limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples. The New Jersey Supreme Court is expected to rule soon on the legality of same-sex marriages there.

I know that this is discouraging news to anyone without a conservative nutjob agenda, but you can choose to view the glass as half full. You see, Washington's judiciary last addressed the issue of gay marriage in 1974. At that time an appeals court unanimously voted against the issue (yesterday's vote was 4-3) and the state Supreme Court refused to hear the case.

"You've gone in 32 years from something that was more or less a slam dunk to where the court is almost evenly and very bitterly divided," said William B. Rubenstein, a law professor at the University of California, Los Angeles, and author of Sexual Orientation and the Law. "The issue is in play."

Of course, don't get too optimistic. It's hard to feel hopeful when douchebags like this are gleefully celebrating:

"Today is a great day for marriage and the family," said Mathew D. Staver, the chairman of Liberty Counsel, a group that opposes the legal recognition of same-sex marriages. "We are pleased that this latest attempt by the homosexual agenda to radically redefine our culture has been stopped dead in its tracks."

The "homosexual agenda" is "radically redefining" our country? Guess again, asscunt. The radical change in our country – and the most viscous assault on the institutions of family and marriage – is coming from the tens of millions of heterosexual divorces. Go ahead – I dare you to tell me I'm wrong.

And how, pray tell, did the Washington Court reach its decision? "Limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples," Justice Barbara A. Madsen wrote in the [majority] opinion, "furthers procreation, essential to the survival of the human race…" Thank God Justice Madsen is looking out for the human race. I mean, we'd be on the brink of extinction without her, right?

Madsen continued her ill-informed and inflammatory opinion by claiming that a gay marriage ban "furthers the well-being of children by encouraging families where children are reared in homes headed by the children's biological parents." Does it? Because I could have sworn that there are tens of millions of American children being raised by non-biological heterosexual parents. If this were really the point, wouldn't Madsen and her slack-jawed yokel cronies have to also ban adoption, re-marriage and foster families?

Honestly, all Americans should be embarrassed that this civil rights issue is still on the table. Our legal system is supporting Jim Crow laws that discriminate against 10% of the population, yet we still take two steps backwards every time we make one step toward progress. Why aren't more of us outraged?