Liar, Whore, Liar, Whore and You Know It!

Ah, good old Dwight Hansen – probably Robert De Niro’s best performance that no one ever saw.

Anyway, I had bookmarked this story a few weeks ago – though it may be hopelessly out-of-date, it did cause me to guffaw…and hell, a good guffaw (or chortle, even) is worth revisiting.

Remember the “truce” offered by Osama in his last tape? Well, no one really believed that the Bush Administration would (or should) jump to accept the terms, but are we really expected to believe the rationale?

"Clearly the al Qaeda leaders and other terrorists are on the run, they're under a lot of pressure. We do not negotiate with terrorists, we put them out of business," White House spokesman Scott McClellan told reporters.

Right, we put them out of business. Except for those terrorists who signed up for duty because of our illegal war in Iraq – I guess you could say we put those guys in business.

McClellan wasn’t done making ridiculous claims. Check this out:

"The terrorists started this war and the president made it clear that we will end it at a time and place of our choosing."

Huh? I don’t know what’s more disturbing: McClellan’s claim that we could end the war whenever we wanted to, or the idea that the war could be over yet we chose to continue sacrificing our young soldiers and international reputation.

After throwing up in my mouth, I realized the brilliance of Bush’s strategy. You see, he has decreed it unpatriotic to criticize the government during a war. As long as he drags out the war on terror – a war which he had “made it clear we could end…at a time and place of his choosing” – anyone who criticizes him is a traitor. Perfect!

It’s kind of like Bush studied “This Boy’s Life” and mirrored his philosophy after one he admired in the film: “You can get it doggy-style or you can get it lying on your side. Those are your only choices. This is my house and I get to say. Got it?”

Indeed, I got it. My ass is sore already.