I've been bad. I know it. StatCounter tells me that I actually have a few readers checking PatRoW each day – their disappointment about my infrequent posts matched only by their disappointment of seeing yet another sub-par edition of Quick Hits.
With that said, let's move on to another sub-par edition of Quick Hits!
Driver Has 18 Times Legal Alcohol Limit – you simply have to respect a man, who after being tested at 7.27 grams per liter of alcohol in his blood, tells police that he "he had been drinking the night before and tried to freshen up by downing a pint of beer for breakfast." Hey Vidmantas – you're good people. Don't let that vicious MADD smear campaign tell you otherwise.
Jack Bauer Saves Day on Finale of '24' – wait, don't tell me what happened! I TiVo'd last night's episode and haven't seen the finale yet. Did Jack Bauer miraculously save Los Angeles/America/Planet Earth/the Universe from destruction? Did he expose corruption and/or false patriots in the government? Was there a shocking twist in which it was revealed that someone he trusted was really working against him?
(And yes, I will feel really stupid if the finale offered a truly original ending…but I've been waiting for one for four full seasons and 22 episodes, so I don't think I'll be shocked when I hit play on my DVR).
Experts: Hurricane Season Won't Match 2005 – really? You think so, doctor? Add another group of douchebags to my list, because I hate meteorologists/weather men/directors of the National Hurricane Center .
You mean to tell me that the most active and expense hurricane year on record won't be topped ONE YEAR LATER? I am truly shocked. Then again, I thought nature never experienced highs and low, peaks and valleys, ebbs and flows and all that other crap. I thought 154 years of history meant nothing…wow, I guess I was wrong.
Let me just point out that, even as these experts predict 2006 will not be as severe as 2005, they are also predicting a more active year than they did last May. " There will be up to 16 named storms, the center predicted, which would be significantly less than last year's record 28…Last year, officials predicted 12 to 15 tropical storms."
I'm not going to delve into the hack comedy bit about how a weatherman never has to be right, but isn't this a bit ridiculous? They now have live Doppler radar that can pinpoint the exact minute a thunderstorm cell is going to pass over a specific intersection, yet the 5-day forecast is as unreliable as a Canal Street Rolex? What gives?
And don't even get me started on that douchiest of douchebag weather forecasters, the Farmer's Almanac. Every year – every fucking year – they send someone on local TV and radio to "predict" upcoming weather. Of course, they point to their accuracy in the previous year's forecast – documentation of which is conveniently never provided. Then again, their forecast is usually something like "our secret weather predicting formula tells us that it will rain a lot this spring, July will be the hottest month of the year, leaves will magically change colors and fall off trees sometime in October, and Christmas will fall on or approximately December 25."
Now why did you have to get me started? I asked you not to.
No comments:
Post a Comment