Blast from the Past

Remember Jack Abramoff? You know, the guy at the center of the issue 12 Bush scandals ago? Well, one of Jacky's cronies is on trial now and, despite the White House's frequent and boisterous contentions that the lobbyist had little influence over anything important, actual court documents seem to prove otherwise.

David Safavian, former chief of staff at the General Services Administration (aka the government's landlord), is accused of lying about his relationship with Abramoff. And just wait until you hear his defense!

In her opening statement to the jury Wednesday, Barbara Van Gelder, Safavian's lawyer, insisted that her client was guilty of nothing more than being a good buddy. He did nothing unethical or criminal, she said. He just acted like a pal.

"They had a common interest in golf and racquetball."

You know, because "pals" are always willing to illegally slip in me and some buddies for a 5-day golf outing at Scotland's St. Andrews – only the oldest, and perhaps most famous, course in the world. And really, who doesn't help their racquetball chums secure a redevelopment deal to turn a historic landmark into a 5-star hotel?

Safavian contends everything was on the up-and-up, pointing to an e-mail he sent to the GSA ethics office prior to the golf junket. "In his request, Safavian described Abramoff as 'a lawyer and lobbyist, but one that has no business before GSA (he does all his work on Capitol Hill).'" Well, if that were true the government would have no case; however…

E-mails clearly show that at the same time Safavian was planning on joining the Scottish golf junket, the GSA official was helping to provide Abramoff with information about the best way to obtain the two parcels of federal land, which were controlled by the GSA. In addition to making several internal queries on Abramoff's behalf, Safavian obligingly set up a meeting between Abramoff's wife and GSA officials. Safavian even arranged another convenient golf outing -- that included the Abramoffs and Stephen Perry, who directed the GSA.

Not one to take advantage of his "pal's" generosity, Safavian was kind enough to reimburse Abramoff $3,100 for the trip, which also included a three night stay at a luxury hotel in London. Of course, "the Justice Department calculates that the trip cost Abramoff more than $16,000 per person".

But how can anyone ever really prove the true nature of Safavian and Abramoff's relationship (were they "just friends", "friends with benefits", "fuck buddies", etc.)? Oh yeah, let's just ask Jack!

Abramoff himself has denied that [Van Gelder's defense] was true… Just days before Safavian's discount junket to Scotland, a colleague of Abramoff asked why the GSA official had been invited. Abramoff's response was right to the point. ''Total business angle," the lobbyist wrote. "He is new COS [chief of staff] of GSA.''

Ah, with friends like these…right David?