It's Friday, it's 10:30, it's time to party. Party on, Quick Hits. Party on, Garth.
Condoms Found to Block a Virus Harmful to Women – And it's not AIDS, the clap, herpes or anything sexy like that. Let me get this straight: as long as I can't catch cervical cancer – and I'm fairly confident I carry a life-long invulnerability – does that mean I wasted my oats-sowing years by wearing a bag? Stupid paranoid 1990s…
Cut 'n' run vs. lie 'n' die – it's headlines like this that get me hungry for Shake 'n' Bake. Or Steak 'n' Shake. Or Cheetos…I'm always hungry for Cheetos.
The facts are bad in Iraq. Karl Rove knows that. Dan Bartlett knows that. President Bush knows that. The American people know that. But as the New York Times is reporting this morning, that is not something anyone should admit in an election year:
"People who attended a series of high-level meetings this month between White House and Congressional officials say President Bush's aides argued that it could be a politically fatal mistake for Republicans to walk away from the war in an election year."
A "politically fatal" mistake? What about the actual human fatalities? The loss of human life is collateral damage, but the loss of power is the real tragedy, right?
Joking about rape to lighten the mood – call me old fashioned, but if you're going to allude to a tasteless and offensive joke, isn't it your journalistic duty to report said joke? Not that I find anything particularly engaging about the premise of raping a convent full of nuns, but still, I choose to reserve judgment until I hear the punch line.
Or I get petitioned by NOW. Those bitches dames ladies can work a picket line.
"President O'Reilly" would run Iraq "just like Saddam ran it" – I'll give you a second to clean up the mess you regurgitated after reading the words "President O'Reilly".
Better now? Good.
It seems that Bill O'Reilly is an unlikely fan of the management style of a certain deposed dictator. On his June 19 radio show, O'Reilly declared that if he were the president of Iraq, his constituents would find his approach to be a familiar one:
So because -- what you have here now is a tipping point in history. A tipping point in history. So you have to win the Iraq situation. Now, to me, they're not fighting it hard enough. See, if I'm president, I've got probably another 50-60,000 with orders to shoot on sight anybody violating curfews. Shoot 'em on sight. That's me. President O'Reilly, curfew in Ramadi, 7 o'clock at night. You're on the street, you're dead. I shoot you right between the eyes. OK?
That's how I'd run that country -- just like Saddam ran it. Saddam didn't have explosions. He didn't have bombers, did he? Because if you got out of line, you're dead.
I tried a bunch of comments here, but nothing captured the arrogance, stupidity and irrelevance that is Bill O'Reilly. Well done, douche – you made my point for me.
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