Intelligent Evolution

A funny thing is happening in the nation's heartland – many of Kansas' moderate Republicans, disgusted with the state party's social conservative agenda, have switched parties and running for office as Democrats. And they said evolution was dead in Kansas…

This November, Democrat candidates will include the former chairman of the Kansas Republican Party, a four-term district attorney, and seven other former GOPissants. Credit for their redemption can be attributed to Democratic Governor Kathleen Sebelius and state party chairman Larry Gates…but they had some help.

Sebelius and Gates have been abetted by the social conservatives who dominate the Kansas Republican Party. When conservative Republicans won seats on the state school board, for example, and changed the science teaching standards to include the theory of intelligent design, Kansas became a national punch line, and moderate Republicans squirmed.

[Paul] Morrison, the Democratic candidate for attorney general, says that it took more than a call from Sebelius to persuade him to switch. Morrison, who calls himself a "very, very moderate person," felt that incumbent Phill Kline had turned the attorney general's office into a platform for partisan politics. Kline made headlines when he attempted to access the medical records of Kansas women who'd had abortions. "So much time and energy," Morrison says, "is being spent on pursuing a narrow partisan agenda that most people don't agree with."

For Cindy Neighbor, who's running for the state House, the decision to ditch the Republican Party came when she looked at a platform that included opposition to stem cell research and support for school vouchers and the teaching of intelligent design.

Hmm…maybe we should encourage more ridiculous right-wing agendas and outlandish hyperbole. I mean, if we shake the few sensible apples off the GOP tree, the Democratic Party stands a much better chance at capturing moderate/independent voters and passing legislation that matters, right?

Actually, some people disagree. Kansas State University Political Science professor Joe Aistrup thinks that " the addition of former Republicans may be shifting Kansas Democrats to the right. Any time, as a party, you start expanding the base to include former members of the other party, you're recalibrating the party to a more moderate point of view." And Thomas Frank, author and self-proclaimed player on "Team Liberal" says that, "I don't think it's that great a victory if people come to the Democratic Party without any kind of change of heart, or if the Democratic Party is just becoming full of moderate Republicans. Then that's, in some ways, a terrible defeat for my side."

As much as I want to see Team Liberal win (and dude – when are we getting team jerseys already?), I can't help but think that we have to make room for all moderates, at least in a state as Red as Kansas. Core liberal issues may never play in the Sunflower State, but I think we need to swallow our blue pride for a chance to capture as many offices as possible. Maybe Kansas will never fully embrace the liberal revolution, but there's a good chance we can help its citizens evolve into a mindset a bit more appropriate for the 21 ^st Century.

Darwin would be so proud.

An Inconvenient What?

So much for global warming. It seems that scientists have photographed a rare weather phenomenon only possible in Earth's coldest climates:

Meteorological officer Renae Baker captured spectacular images of the nacreous clouds, also known as polar stratospheric clouds, last week at Australia's Mawson station in Antarctica.

The clouds only occur at high polar latitudes in winter, requiring temperatures less than minus 176 degrees Fahrenheit. A weather balloon measured temperatures at minus 189 degrees Fahrenheit on the day the photos were taken.

Minus 189? Shit, if Al Gore finds out about this it could crush his career renaissance and depress him back into his fat lumberjack phase.

Creationalism-Schmeationalsim

In what is being called the "missing link" in the transition from our planet's sea-based to land-based life, scientists have discovered 375 million year old fish fossils that mark the beginnings of limbs evolution:

…scientists found telling anatomical traits of a transitional creature, a fish that is still a fish but exhibiting changes that anticipate the emergence of land animals — a predecessor thus of amphibians, reptiles and dinosaurs, mammals and eventually humans.

The scientists described evidence in the forward fins of limbs in the making. There are the beginnings of digits, proto-wrists, elbows and shoulders. The fish also had a flat skull resembling a crocodile's, a neck, ribs and other parts that were similar to four-legged land animals known as tetrapods.

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Embedded in the pectoral fins were bones that compare to the upper arm, forearm and primitive parts of the hand of land-living animals. The scientists said the joints of the fins appeared to be capable of functioning for movement on land, a case of a fish improvising with its evolved anatomy. In all likelihood, they said, Tiktaalik flexed its proto-limbs primarily on the floor of streams and may have pulled itself up on the shore for brief stretches.

Sheesh, how is Carl Everett going to explain this one? Suffice to say, the Tiktaalik roseae fossil is one not likely to be found at the Ave Maria Natural History Museum. I realize that faith means the belief in something that cannot be proved, but does God really expect us to suspend use of our brains?

Flying Spaghetti Monster proponents could not be reached for comment.

Where’s your God now?

It turns out that "Muppets in Space" was right: there is water – and perhaps even life – on one of Saturn's moons.

"It's startling," said Carolyn C. Porco of the Space Science Institute in Boulder , Colo., leader of the imaging team for [NASA's] Cassini [spacecraft]. Nine scientific papers about Enceladus (pronounced en-SELL-ah-dus), appear in today's issue of Science. "I wouldn't be surprised to see the planetary community clamoring for a future exploratory expedition to land on the south polar terrain of Enceladus," said Dr. Porco, lead author of one of the papers. "We have found an environment that is potentially suitable for living organisms."

Life requires at least three ingredients — water, heat and carbon-based molecules — and Enceladus may possess all three.

While rational people won't have their faith rocked by this news (if you can believe in both God and evolution, you can handle the possibility of life in other parts of the universe), those nutty Creationalists may not handle it so well. Can they possibly blame a left wing, anti-Jesus contingent (you know, the same group that fabricated evidence on all those dinosaur fossils)?