I'm becoming a Bill Maher fan in spite of myself.
Never too enamored with his stand-up comedy, and merely ambivalent to his various talk shows, I have again and again found myself drawn to the man's writing.
Maher's latest essay is about the controversy attached to the HPV vaccination. You know, the vaccine that's so effective it could completely eliminate this frequent gateway to cervical cancer.
What's the problem? HPV is a sexually transmitted disease, and some prudes seem to think that vaccinating young women against a STD is tantamount to giving them permission to whore it up (like that's a bad thing).
Anyway, Maher makes a number salient points, but his one-liners have rarely been so sharp. I submit:
· If you don't think your daughter getting cancer is worse than your daughter having sex, then you're doing it wrong.
· HPV shots don't cause promiscuity. Tequila shots do.
· If you could use stem cells to prove that life begins at foreplay, the pope would turn the Vatican into a lab.
And about the idea that the vaccine is bad, because the girls "may see it as a license to engage in premarital sex"?
[That] is really a stretch. People don't get the vaccine for typhoid and say, "Great, now I can drink the sewer water in Bombay." It's like saying if you give a kid a tetanus shot she'll want to jab rusty nails in her feet. It's like being against a cure for blindness because it'll encourage masturbation. It's like being for salmonella poisoning in peanut butter because it'll discourage weirdos from spreading it on their ass and calling the dog.
Wait a sec…that makes me a weirdo?
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