Friday

If you use an electronic voting machine, the terrorists win

Or at least, the Republicans. But if the last six years have taught us anything, it's that if the Republicans win, the terrorists win. And big business. And incompetent cronies – incompetent cronies win a lot too.


You see, I read a pretty shocking story about the ease with which mischief-minded hackers or douchebag election-fixing officials (I'm looking at you, Ohio) have altering results tabulated by electronic voting machines. And to think – I even bought a brand new 2006 Mid-Term Election Commemorative Electronic Voting Booth Touch Screen Stylus and everything! I don't think germophobetechnophile.com offers a refund…


Loyal PatRoWians, I call on you to watch the HBO documentary and cast your ballot on Tuesday the old fashioned way. I know it's a sacrifice; believe me, I'm not looking forward to the human interaction or – perish the thought – eye contact any more than you are.

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