Doing follow-up work I should have done before yesterday's post, I had the pleasure to spend some time on Wisconsin Republican candidate Paul R. Nelson's website. And boy is it a hoot.
Nelson's website is considerate enough to post the sex study ad I wrote about yesterday ("Ron Kind pays for sex, not for soldiers"), as well as two others that are almost as full of vile half-truths. But the "Marine vet and hockey dad" (???) saves his best material for the radio.
Do yourself a favor and listen to these ads yourself – one is about partial-birth abortion and the other is focused on the defense of marriage. They were so much fun to listen to that I've copied both ads below, but trust me, the transcripts do *not* do them justice:
Little Girl: My name is Rebecca and I'm 7. I'm learning a lot in school but there is still a lot I don't know. One day, grandma said I was going to have a little sister. I couldn't wait to have someone to play with. Mommy's stomach started to get bigger and I got really excited. Today, Mommy came home from the doctor and I don't have a sister anymore.
Older Woman: Rebecca's mother has a partial-birth abortion. Ron Kind actually supports this heinous procedure.
PRN: As the father of four children and expecting our fifth, I understand how beautiful a life is. I'm Paul R. Nelson and I approve of this message. Elect me to Congress and I will work to end the barbaric practice of partial-birth abortion.
Older Man: Paid for by Marine Corps veteran and hockey dad, Paul R. Nelson.
~~~
(Organ music playing "Bridal Chorus")
Man: This wedding paid for by Marine Corps veteran and hockey dad, Paul R. Nelson for Congress.
Mom: Look how beautiful she is.
Little Girl: Mommy, her dress is so pretty.
Priest: If anyone objects to defending marriage, may you speak now or forever hold your peace.
Excited Guy: I OBJECT!
(oohs and ahhs and gasps and a few hisses)
Little Girl: Is Ron Kind against marriage?
Man V/O: Ron Kind actually voted twice for the destruction of marriage.
PRN: My name is Paul R. Nelson and I approve of this message because the foundation of a family is a mom and a dad.
Priest: I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Little Girl: Mommy – can we trust anyone to defend marriage?
Mom: Don't worry, honey. Daddy and I are voting for Paul R. Nelson for Congress.
I shit you not, I changed nary a word. Paul R. Nelson – I dare say you're a ninny.
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